Friday, August 12, 2005

There is Technically No Reason to Hate on Mike Jones...His Songs are Inspirational.

I can't help being a little obsessed with Mike Jones' 'Fuck Racism' campaign. It's bringing out the crazies.

This Post, from Jazzi LaBelle a/k/a Badd B!tch, is my favorite. This paragraph exemplifies everything that's bad about the internet:

Dis Is Sumtin Dat HAS To Be A Rasied As A Very Important Issue cause well We Will Never Live For Ever And So If We Spend Most Of Our Life Fighting By Ourself Against Rasim We Will Never Get To Xpercne All That Thurr Is To Xpence In Life So 4Real Damn What Da Fuck Do Whites Have Agisnt Blacks????? Damn But 4real Not ALL Whites Are But Thurr Are Still A Bunch Out Thurr Who Are Cause Why I Get Theatin E-Mails Say Shyt Like Ima Hunt Chu Down And Kill ; U Ugly Negro

Jazzi LaBelle

Not trying to make light of any threating e-mails you may have received, but: Speak a language, girl! It doesn't have to be english, but you must be able to speak it with human tongues. If all you have to say is 'racism is bad,' then don't say anything else. Badd B!tch, I hope, for your sake, that someone eventually comes to love you.

For real though, everybody, no more hatin'.

Boy, You're Gonna Carry That Weight.

This is the world's finest suitcase. It's Henk, and it costs about GBP 15,000.00. At minimum. Thats about $25,000.00 American. But you can customize it. And it comes in male and female versions! A must for the serious business traveller. Plus, its website makes the XBox360 site seem totally easy to navigate.

Which reminds me of this: I don't understand exactly how the XBox360 is going to be different from the XBox. I know there will be expanded online play (which I don't use), I know there are like six different designs to choose from for the shell of the console (just like Henk!), but I have no idea what the games are going to look like. And I still want one. Solely because I was sucked into the website.

Henk's website accomplishes no such goal. Now I just want to beat rich people to death with their own Henk. Thank you, Henk!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Make Me Wanna Holler, Throw Up Both My Hands.

The cover art from Marvin Gaye's record What's Going On, perhaps the most overrated-but-still-totally-motherfucking-awesome soul record in history, is being used in ads for Hennessy.

Like so:
Image hosted by

What is Marvin's estate thinking? A deluxe reissue of What's Going On was just released, along with a double-disc Motown retrospective. Surely there are plenty of royalties pouring in. Or was this completely unauthorized, like Nike Skateboarding's 'Major Threat' campaign, which ripped off the cover of a Minor Threat album? (Ian McKaye loved that by the way. Everyone at Dischord are huge Nike fans.)

The part that really irks me is that they used the cover art from What's Going On, the first real soul protest record, which shed light on war, urban plight, environmental issues, etc. Couldn't they have used Marvin circa 1980, caressing his Hennessy the way he would his finest (or most timely) sexual conquest (read: woman)?

Also, there's the part about Marvin Gaye being murdered by his jealous and, notably, ALCOHOLIC father. I surely must have mentioned that before.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I'm Talkin' Bout Pound Notes, Loose Change, Bad Checks, Anything.

Didn't I say the first time I ever posted anything here that everything is about Terrell Owens?

Well, T.O. has stormed out of Eagles' training camp after arguing with Andy Reid. Which in itself is not all that surprising. But, according to ESPN, he was 'asked to leave' by the coach.

Now, T.O. must have done or said something pretty fucked to get kicked out of camp when the Eagles are already down one starting receiver, even if that receiver is only Todd Pinkston.

The other thing is that Drew Rosenhaus hasn't said anything yet. Which is sort of odd for him. This may end very badly. Terrell may have finally talked his way out of town, ala Freddie Mitchell.

This is fucked. Is it just me or are things starting out very badly this season? I think I may finally be getting hit with Philly pessimism. What the shit?

Edited: He's kicked out of camp for seven days. Eskin is losing his shit, saying some nonsense about picking up Tai Streets, which is hilarious.

Girls Didn't Give a Damn if I was Ill.

Mike Jones has been hit hard with a string of nasty e-mails, dropping n-bombs right on his head and everything. And, as one might suspect, it's all the work of pussy ass emo kids. Turns out all that crying was just masking the rage.

Read Mike's anti-racism blog here. In some parts it reaches semi-coherency.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Come on People, Now. Smile on Your Brother.

Please consider this an open call for submissions. Always dreamed of blogging? No shit, me too! Help a nugga out. Got an opinion on some shit? The Peter Forsberg signing? Why Family Guy is somehow even better than it used to be? The fact that it's balls fucking hot in the two one fifth?

If you help, all of your wildest dreams will come true. (Vote for Pedro.)

Welcome to the Occupation.

So this is a web log. I, having been relatively uninterested in internet culture until I found myself in a job where web access was plentiful, am still slightly resistant to using the word 'blog,' but will nonetheless refer to this page as such. Because web log, or online journal, just sounds retarded, or faggoty, or queer. This is 'We Need Somebody to Burn.' The blog. It's all about offending retards, faggots and queers.

I started writing a blog on MySpace, which was fun. My sporadic publishing should have made the thought of authoring a more detailed, independent blog, ridiculous. But here I am. I'll try to add bits and pieces every day or so. The focus is not on me. The word/letter 'I' has appeared in this post more than it will in any subsequent one. Probably. That may change if something interesting ever happens to me. And even then, would you care? You'd rather hear about Mike Jones.

To that effect, WNStB (I've coined the nick, motherfuckers!) will be about other people. Famous ones. Or music. Or shit that's on the TV (e.g., 'Did you see Best Week Ever last week? It was the best Best Week Ever ever.'). Or government. Or Terrell Owens. Actually, like all things, it's mostly about T.O.

Also, since no one will know this even exists yet, I might as well tell you all there's a party at my house tonight. Bring everyone you know. We'll get stinko.